Okay, so yesterday my nephew Max begged me to teach him football. Kid’s 10 years old and only ever kicked a ball in video games. I remembered seeing this “Anderson Football Basics” guide online – super simple, just 5 steps for total beginners. Figured I’d try it out with him, step-by-step. Here’s exactly what went down.
The Starting Point
First things first: gear. Grabbed an old volleyball from the garage (didn’t have a proper soccer ball handy). Marked a tiny goal using two soda bottles in my backyard – grass was patchy, but whatever. Max showed up wearing flip-flops. Big mistake. Sent him home to grab sneakers. Can’t be sliding around!
Step 1: Ball Touch Chaos
The guide said “just get comfortable touching the ball.” So I told Max: “Try rolling it under your foot back and forth, like squishing a bug.” Man, it looked like a baby giraffe learning to walk. Ball kept escaping him. Changed tactics: had him sit on the grass and roll it between his hands and feet. Less running after the ball that way. Took 15 minutes before he stopped kicking it like it owed him money.
Step 2: Passing Panic
Next up: passing. Stood about three feet away. Told him: “Use the inside of your foot – the flat part. Don’t wind up like a baseball pitcher!” His first try? Whacked it sideways into my neighbor’s rose bushes. Oops. Made him plant his non-kicking foot next to the ball first. Still shanked a bunch, but after wiping dirt off his face twice, he finally got one to kinda roll toward me. Called that a win.
Step 3: Stopping & First Touch Disaster
Passing to him went worse. The guide says “soften your leg to cushion the ball.” Yeah right. First pass smacked his ankle – he yelped. Second one bounced off his knee. Nearly quit there. Made him stand sideways and trap it between his foot and the ground. Still bounced away five times before he stomped one dead. Cheered like he won the World Cup.
Step 4: Dribbling Madness
Now this was funny. Set up two water bottles a yard apart. Told him: “Dribble through ’em using little baby kicks.” Cue chaos. Booted the ball clear over them. Kicked it sideways into my fence. Tripped over his own feet. Swear he looked cross-eyed. Had him just walk with the ball super slowly, tapping it once per step. Took a million tries to weave those bottles without chasing the ball across the yard.
Step 5: Shooting? Barely.
Final step: shoot at the soda-bottle goal from three yards out. Max sprinted at the ball like a maniac and missed it completely. Twice. Another attempt accidentally became a toe-punt that almost broke a window. Finally told him: “Just pass it into the goal hard.” One kinda wobbled through the bottles. He screamed “GOOOOAL!” like a pro. We called it there.
The Verdict
Messy? Absolutely. Max still trips over his shadow half the time. But the guide wasn’t kidding about being simple. Seeing him trap one clean pass? Felt like coaching Messi. Might try cones next week… or just more soda bottles.
